Love - Feb 2003

Love is something that comes to the center of our attention this time of year. It seems that every other ad on TV, radio, and in the newspaper is related to Valentines day. We are told about all the things that our loved ones need, how to select the perfect gift, and how bad our life will be if we do not get them the right thing.

Hopefully none of the above are true, if someone we love really needs something we should not wait for a holiday to get it for them. The perfect gift should be any gift given by someone special. Rarely is the actually gift as important as the thought and the person behind it. Hopefully no one that really loves us would be mad if they received a heartfelt gift, regardless of what the gift is. Again, it should not be the gift that matters, it should be the thought. In the same vein, a person that truly loves you would not intentionally buy you something that you would not want. Because if they know you, they know what you like, dislike, and they know your wants and needs.

The simple truth is that love should be in all of our relationships daily. Though it is nice to set aside a special day, or time, to show those that we love that we care, no gift, no present, no act once a year covers the remaining 364 days a year, or 365 days in leap years for all you detail freaks.

In Webster’s dictionary love is defined as -

1 (1)a : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : - often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
5 : a god or personification of love
6 : an amorous episode
7 : the sexual embrace :

The above definition shows that love is far deeper then just the romantic / affectionate love that is shown to us in advertisements and in stores. This definition also shows that love can mean many things. God intended it this way. Throughout the Bible we see different examples of various forms of love - brotherly, compassionate, romantic, Godly, etc

Chapter thirteen in first Corinthians is often referred to as the “love” chapter. Christians reference it all the time, but do we really understand what God is telling us. We routinely hear verses from this Bible chapter in weddings, it is referenced in marriage counseling, it is discussed in Bible studies regularly, we discuss it in marriage building seminars, and if we find ourselves in marriage counseling it is set as the guide to follow to restore a broken marriage or relationship. The consistent appearance of this scripture in all phases of our lives makes me assume that our claims of love must come short of the standard that is defined in the Bible. If we were living to the 1 Corinthians 13 standard of love, we would have not to be constantly reminded of it, and would not need to be shown examples of true love. Obviously, being lovely and loving is not something that is natural to us. Love must be area of our life that we need to work at learning more about and a area that we need to improve our skills in.

The complete 1 Corinthians chapter 13 follows, read it slowly, digest it, and then pray about how God wants to make you love differently then you are today:

Chances are after you read this scripture carefully a few times, prayed about it, and really focused on God’s standard for love, that God lead you to make some changes in how you currently are. He wants you to treat those you know and those that you meet better. He may have lead you to be more compassionate - to both your friends and enemies. Maybe He is calling you to be more loving to those around you or more tender to the hurting. His call for you may to be more caring for the sick.

Have no doubt, that God is calling you to change areas that you need to work on. He is not trying to destroy your world, He is trying to use you to better His world. We spend so much time worrying about how others will view us that we regularly miss opportunities to simply act in God’s will and be successful in what He calls us too.

Sacrifice is usually a key to love. To love you have to give, and to give to others generally requires you to give up something yourself. Maybe it is giving up some of your wants, or some of your time, or some of your finances, or some of your goals. We sometimes have to give up things to truly learn how to love. It is impossible to truly love someone, and withhold or covet things that hurt them or limit our ability to fully love them. Pure / true love is deciding not to put our needs and wants ahead of others. Love requires us to place others ahead of us. If we do this we will be loving by the standard of God set for us. Loving others purely and truly will allow you to receive pure and true love in return. Love is like most things, the greater your sacrifice, the greater your reward, so love like you want to be loved.

In Genesis there is a great example of sacrificial love between too people in the story of Jacob and Rachel.

Genesis 29:20 (NIV) - So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

What a sacrifice. Working seven years to earn the right to marry her. The scripture tells us that Jacob was so dedicated to getting Rachel that the seven years seemed to pass like a few days. Most have experienced similar events. When we are working toward a goal that we long for time seems to become secondary, yet when we labor at things we do not like we talk of how time drags. That seems to be a example of the way to love. Love in such a way that you are dedicated and focused on the goal, not in a way that love is a chore and a labor. That change in mind set alone may do more to change your love skills then anything you do.

Today most people put little or no work in to relationships. We have virtually no patience in developing or maintaining relationships. We are all about what feels good at the moment. What feels right now. Couples break up, heart are broken, marriages decay and affairs occur simply because the parties involved lived for the moment, instead of for future.

We all could learn important lessons about sacrificial love from Jacob’s example in Genesis. In addition, the book of Ruth chapters 2 thru 4 give us even more examples of how to love. There we find a story of two people (Boaz and Ruth) both working to make their love work and grow, though their relationship began under less then ideal terms. They were focused on each other, and they were focused on making their relationship work. They did not let things come between them that would have divided most couples. These are skills that we could easily learn and use today.

Truthfully, we have all probably heard these lessons before. If you have been a Christian for any length of time then you probably rarely learn “new lessons”, the truth is we rarely or never apply the lessons that we already know. Most of our Christian lives seems to be spent learning to apply the lessons that we already know, but that we choose to ignore or forget when it is convenient.

In the next few days, read 1 Corinthians 13 again, focus Jacob’s example in Genesis, and read the Book of Ruth, focusing on chapters 2 thru 4. Then earnestly pray about what the Lord wants for you work on in the areas of loving others, being kind, and being the example that God is calling you to be. Love is patient, love is kind.....God is love.

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	Love is something that comes to the center of our attention this time of year. It seems that every other ad on TV, radio, and in the newspaper is related to Valentines day. We are told about all the things that our loved ones need, how to select the perfect gift, and how bad our life will be if we do not get them the right thing. Hopefully none of the above are true, if someone we love really needs something we should not wait for a holiday to get it for them. The perfect gift should be any gift given by someone special. Rarely is the actually gift as important as the thought and the person behind it. Hopefully no one that really loves us would be mad if they received a heartfelt gift, regardless of what the gift is. Again, it should not be the gift that matters, it should be the thought. In the same vein, a person that truly loves you would not intentionally buy you something that you would not want. Because if they know you, they know what you like, dislike, and they know your wants and needs. The simple truth is that love should be in all of our relationships daily. Though it is nice to set aside a special day, or time, to show those that we love that we care, no gift, no present, no act once a year covers the remaining 364 days a year, or 365 days in leap years for all you detail freaks. In Webster’s dictionary love is defined as - 1 (1)a : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love> 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea> 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : - often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address 4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God 5 : a god or personification of love 6 : an amorous episode 7 : the sexual embrace : The above definition shows that love is far deeper then just the romantic / affectionate love that is shown to us in advertisements and in stores. This definition also shows that love can mean many things. God intended it this way. Throughout the Bible we see different examples of various forms of love - brotherly, compassionate, romantic, Godly, etc Chapter thirteen in first Corinthians is often referred to as the “love” chapter. Christians reference it all the time, but do we really understand what God is telling us. We routinely hear verses from this Bible chapter in weddings, it is referenced in marriage counseling, it is discussed in Bible studies regularly, we discuss it in marriage building seminars, and if we find ourselves in marriage counseling it is set as the guide to follow to restore a broken marriage or relationship. The consistent appearance of this scripture in all phases of our lives makes me assume that our claims of love must come short of the standard that is defined in the Bible. If we were living to the 1 Corinthians 13 standard of love, we would have not to be constantly reminded of it, and would not need to be shown examples of true love. Obviously, being lovely and loving is not something that is natural to us. Love must be area of our life that we need to work at learning more about and a area that we need to improve our skills in. The complete 1 Corinthians chapter 13 follows, read it slowly, digest it, and then pray about how God wants to make you love differently then you are today: 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV) - If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1CO 13:8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1CO 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Chances are after you read this scripture carefully a few times, prayed about it, and really focused on God’s standard for love, that God lead you to make some changes in how you currently are. He wants you to treat those you know and those that you meet better. He may have lead you to be more compassionate - to both your friends and enemies. Maybe He is calling you to be more loving to those around you or more tender to the hurting. His call for you may to be more caring for the sick. Have no doubt, that God is calling you to change areas that you need to work on. He is not trying to destroy your world, He is trying to use you to better His world. We spend so much time worrying about how others will view us that we regularly miss opportunities to simply act in God’s will and be successful in what He calls us too. Sacrifice is usually a key to love. To love you have to give, and to give to others generally requires you to give up something yourself. Maybe it is giving up some of your wants, or some of your time, or some of your finances, or some of your goals. We sometimes have to give up things to truly learn how to love. It is impossible to truly love someone, and withhold or covet things that hurt them or limit our ability to fully love them. Pure / true love is deciding not to put our needs and wants ahead of others. Love requires us to place others ahead of us. If we do this we will be loving by the standard of God set for us. Loving others purely and truly will allow you to receive pure and true love in return. Love is like most things, the greater your sacrifice, the greater your reward, so love like you want to be loved. In Genesis there is a great example of sacrificial love between too people in the story of Jacob and Rachel. Genesis 29:20 (NIV) - So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. What a sacrifice. Working seven years to earn the right to marry her. The scripture tells us that Jacob was so dedicated to getting Rachel that the seven years seemed to pass like a few days. Most have experienced similar events. When we are working toward a goal that we long for time seems to become secondary, yet when we labor at things we do not like we talk of how time drags. That seems to be a example of the way to love. Love in such a way that you are dedicated and focused on the goal, not in a way that love is a chore and a labor. That change in mind set alone may do more to change your love skills then anything you do. Today most people put little or no work in to relationships. We have virtually no patience in developing or maintaining relationships. We are all about what feels good at the moment. What feels right now. Couples break up, heart are broken, marriages decay and affairs occur simply because the parties involved lived for the moment, instead of for future. We all could learn important lessons about sacrificial love from Jacob’s example in Genesis. In addition, the book of Ruth chapters 2 thru 4 give us even more examples of how to love. There we find a story of two people (Boaz and Ruth) both working to make their love work and grow, though their relationship began under less then ideal terms. They were focused on each other, and they were focused on making their relationship work. They did not let things come between them that would have divided most couples. These are skills that we could easily learn and use today. Truthfully, we have all probably heard these lessons before. If you have been a Christian for any length of time then you probably rarely learn “new lessons”, the truth is we rarely or never apply the lessons that we already know. Most of our Christian lives seems to be spent learning to apply the lessons that we already know, but that we choose to ignore or forget when it is convenient. In the next few days, read 1 Corinthians 13 again, focus Jacob’s example in Genesis, and read the Book of Ruth, focusing on chapters 2 thru 4. Then earnestly pray about what the Lord wants for you work on in the areas of loving others, being kind, and being the example that God is calling you to be. Love is patient, love is kind.....God is love.