EPHESIANS 5:21-33
FOCUS VS 31-32
INTRO: AT THIS POINT WE WATCHED A BEAUTIFULLY CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE FROM THE MUSICAL “WHITE CHRISTMAS.”
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING TO WATCH.
A DANCE IS MUCH THE SAME AS A MARRIAGE.
1. YOU NEED 2 PEOPLE.
2. 1 PERSON HAS TO LEAD
3. 1 PERSON HAS TO FOLLOW
4. THERE IS A CHOREOGRAPHER BEHIND THE SCENES INSTRUCTING THEM WHAT TO DO AND WHEN TO DO IT.WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT?
LEADER, FOLLOWER OR CHOREOGRAPHER.THE PROBLEM THAT ARISES IN THIS PASSAGE IS WITH THE FACT THAT THE BIBLE SAYS THAT WIVES ARE TO SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS.
BUT WHEN IT IS DONE RIGHT YOU DON’T LOOK AT A GODLY MARRIAGE AND SAY LOOK AT HER SUBMITTING TO HIM.
JUST AS WE DO NOT LOOK AT THIS DANCE & SAY LOOK AT HIM LEADING, LIKE HE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL. SHE HAS ALL THE TALENT, GOOD LOOKS, & ABILITY.
WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO SUBMIT TO HIM?
ALL WE SEE IS A THING OF BEAUTY! 2 PEOPLE WORKING IN HARMONY, FOLLOWING THE CHOREOGRAPHER’S DIRECTION.
AFTER ALL IT IS HIS DANCE. HE THOUGHT IT UP. HE PICKED OUT THE MUSIC, HE EVEN CHOSE THE DANCERS.NOW, YOU ARE SAYING, MY MARRIAGE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THAT DANCE.
WELL, IT CAN AND NOT ONLY CAN IT, BUT THAT IS WHAT GOD DESIRES FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE.
NOT ALL ROSES AND PERFUME, BUT A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE TO THE MASTER CHOREOGRAPHER.
YOUR MARRIAGE, WHETHER NOW OR WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, CAN BE LIKE THAT DANCE.
IN THE MID 90’S A SURVEY WAS TAKEN IN MAJOR COLLEGES ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY.
OVER 90% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS SAID THAT THEY BELIEVED THE SECRET TO TRUE HAPPINESS WOULD BE FOUND IN AN INTACT LOVING FAMILY.90% SAID THEY WANTED A HAPPY FAMILY.
DO YOU KNOW THAT ONLY 25% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS TODAY COME FROM A HOME WHERE THEIR BIRTH MOM & DAD LIVE TOGETHER IN THE SAME HOUSE.
THERE IS A LONGING INSIDE EACH ONE OF US FOR THIS KIND OF CLOSE PERSONAL INTIMACY IN A FAMILY SETTING.
AND THAT IS WHERE IT STARTS.
WITH A MOM & A DAD, A HUSBAND & A WIFE, TOTALLY COMMITED TO EACH OTHER, TIL DEATH SEPARATES THEM.
WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE?
WHY DO SO MANY MARRIAGES FALL APART?
WHY IS THE FAMILY DISENTAGRATING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES?
DOES GOD HAVE THE ANSWERS?
DOES GOD EVEN CARE?
OH TRUST ME GOD CARES, HE CARES SO MUCH THAT HE HAS GIVEN US A BLUEPRINT FOR MARRIAGE, FOR HUSBANDS, FOR WIVES, FOR PARENTS, FOR CHILDREN & FOR WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS.
HERE WE START WITH THE CENTER, THE VORTEX, THE NUCLEUS OF THE FAMILY AND THAT IS MARRIAGE!
THE ENTIRE FAMILY UNIT REVOLVES AROUND THE MARRIAGE.
IN THIS PASSAGE WE WILL CLEARLY SEE THAT MARRIAGE IS:
1. GOD’S PLAN
2. GOD’S PICTUREI. (VS 31) MARRIAGE IS GOD’S PLAN.
MARRIAGE – IS NOT AN AMERICAN IDEA. IT IS NOT SIMPLY A GOOD IDEA. IT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO ACCORDING TO OLD FASHIONED STANDARDS.
MARRIAGE IS GOD’S PLAN. HE THOUGHT OF IT, HE CAME UP WITH IT, HE IS THE CHOREOGRAPHER, IT IS HIS DANCE! WE ARE HIS DANCERS.
LET’S GO BACK & SEE GOD’S BLUEPRINT.
GENESIS 2 –
VS 7 – GOD CREATED MAN
VS 8 – GOD CREATED THE GARDEN OF EDEN
VS 18 – GOD SAID IT IS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE. ADAM DIDN’T SAY THAT – GOD SAID IT.
VS 20 – ADAM NAMES ALL THE ANIMALS
VS 21-22 GOD PUT ADAM TO SLEEP & MADE WOMANWOMAN – WOE MAN, DID YOU SEE HER! (THERE IS SO MUCH THAT WE LOSE IN THE TRANSLATION FROM HEBREW TO ENGLISH. ADAM LITERALLY SAYS, WOW! JUST LOOK AT HER, SHE IS GREAT, SHE IS LIKE ME, BUT DIFFERENT. IMAGINE THE PERFECT MAN LOOKING AT THE PERFECT WOMAN.)
VS 24 SAME AS VS 32 IN EPHESIANS 5 –
“FOR THIS CAUSE (IT IS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE) A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER & HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THEY SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”
BUT MARRIAGE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A MAN & A WOMAN BEING TOGETHER,
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT!
A HOLY COVENANT!
GOD IS REPREMANDING ISRAEL AND HE SAYS MALACHI 2:14 “YET YOU SAY FOR WHAT REASON, BECAUSE THE LORD HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN YOU AND THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH, WITH WHOM YOU HAVE DEALT TREACHEROUSLY, YET SHE IS YOUR COMPANION AND YOUR WIFE BY COVENANT.”
COVENANT IS A BINDING COMMITMENT BETWEEN 2 PARTIES, I.E. GOD & NOAH, ABRAHAM, MOSES, DAVID, BETWEEN JESUS & YOU.
COVENANT – MEANS TO CUT AS TO BLEED, MIXING THE BLOOD – I.E. BLOOD BROTHERS
???IS JESUS COMMITED TO HIS END OF THE COVENANT HE HAS WITH YOU?
IS IT SERIOUS TO HIM?
THEN YOUR MARRIAGE COVENANT SHOULD BE THAT SERIOUS WITH YOU & YOUR SPOUSE!
NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT;
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT
MARRIAGE COVENANT IS FOREVERHOW DO I LIVE AS IF MY MARRIAGE IS A HOLY COVENANT?
EPHESIANS 5:31 – GENESIS 2:241. YOU ARE TO LEAVE
INDONESIA – A BRIDE TO BE GATHERS HER FRIENDS & HER CHILDHOOD TOYS, DOLLS, BLANKETS & MOURNS & HAS A BOND FIRE. SHE BURNS ALL THAT SHE USED TO BE AND PREPARES TO BECOME WHAT SHE WILL BE WITH HER HUSBAND. TOO OFTEN, WE ENTER INTO MARRIAGES WITH ALL OF THE BAGGAGE FROM OUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS, PARENTAL MISHAPS, CHILDHOOD TRAMAS, ETC… WE MUST LEARN TO LEAVE WHAT IS BEHIND AND LOOK TO THE FUTURE. IF THE PROMISE OF MONEY FROM PARENTS OR IN-LAWS, COMES WITH TIES THAT CAN’T BE BROKEN, THEN REFUSE THE MONEY AND MAKE A CLEAN BREAK. COUPLES CANNOT GO INTO MARRIAGE LEANING ON ANYTHING OTHER THAN EACH OTHER. MARRIAGE IS TIME TO GROW UP AND GROW OUT. NOT FORGETTING THE THINGS YOUR PARENTS HAVE DONE, BUT REALIZING THAT YOUR SPOUSE MUST COME FIRST, BEFORE ANY OTHER HUMAN RELATIONSHIP.
2. YOU ARE TO BE JOINED (CLEAVE)
EPOXIED TOGETHER – SUPER GLUED – AS WOOD GLUE IN A JOINT – THE JOINT IS STRONGER THAN THE WOOD. AFTER TWO PIECES OF WOOD HAVE BEEN PROPERLY GLUED TOGETHER, WHEN THE WOOD IS BROKEN IT WILL NOT BREAK AT THE JOINT, IT WILL SPLINTER. WHEN TWO PEOPLE COME TOGETHER IN A UNION THEN THEY ARE TORN APART, THEY ARE SPLINTERED. ASK ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE AND THEY WILL TELL YOU, IF THEY ARE HONEST, HOW IT TEARS THEM APART. GOD WANTS THE TWO TO BECOME ONE FLESH, IF YOU TEAR ONE APART THEN YOU DON’T HAVE TWO, YOU HAVE TWO HALVES.
3. YOU ARE TO BECOME ONE FLESH
LITERALLY BECOME ONE FLESH – NOW IMAGINE TEARING YOURSELF AWAY FROM YOUR OWN FLESH – IMAGINE THE PAIN!
GOD DIDN’T WRITE VOLUMES OF BOOKS FOR US TO READ AND MEMORIZE ON HOW TO HAVE A HOLY COVENANT MARRIAGE, HE SAID
LEAVE - BE JOINED - BECOME ONE FLESH
THE MARRIAGE COVENANT IS SHUTTING YOURSELF INTO THIS 8’ X 8’ HOUSE WITHOUT A DOOR LEADING OUT. IF I AM FORCED TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON IN THIS 8’ X 8’ HOUSE WITHOUT AN ESCAPE HATCH, I WILL FIND A WAY TO WORK THINGS OUT.
HOW IMPORTANT IS MARRIAGE?
IT IS GOD’S FIRST INSTITUTION, NOT THE CHURCH, NOT THE APOSTLES, NOT THE SPIRITUAL GIFTS, BUT MARRIAGE!
IT IS GOD’S PLAN FOR YOU!
II. (VS 32) MARRIAGE IS GOD’S PICTURE.
A GREAT MYSTERY – MAY BE THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE BIBLE.
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN FROM VENUS.
DAY & NIGHT – TOTAL OPPOSITES
WOMEN ARE FEELERS
MEN ARE PROBLEM SOLVERS
WOMEN ARE MOTIVATED BY RELATIONSHIPS.
MEN ARE MOTIVATED BY WHAT THEY SEE.
?????WHY ARE WE SO DIFFERENT?????
IT IS BY GOD’S DESIGN. GOD KNOWS WE ARE DIFFERENT. IT IS NOT A SURPRISE TO HIM.
BUT ALSO GOD USES THESE DIFFERENCES FOR HIS GLORY, FOR HIS PICTURE OF HIS RELATIONSHIP TO HIS PEOPLE, THE CHURCH.
THAT’S RIGHT GUYS, THOSE THINGS THAT WOMEN DO THAT DRIVE US NUTS, ARE A GIFT FROM GOD.
GOD HAS ORDAINED AND ORDERED MARRIAGE FOR HIS GOOD WORK.
“GOD HAS PAINTED MANY BEAUTIFUL PICTURES. AS YOU SEE A PINE TREE WITH FRESH FALLEN SNOW WEIGHING DOWN ITS BRANCHES, A SUNSET ON THE BEACH, A CRISP FALL AFTERNOON IN THE MOUNTAINS, SURROUNDED BY GOLDS, YELLOWS, REDS AND BROWNS. I COULD GO ON AND ON THINKING OF THE PICTURES OF GOD. NONE CAN COMPARE TO THE PICTURE GOD PAINTS WITH MARRIAGE.”
A. GOD HAS CHOSEN MARRIAGE TO REVEAL JESUS’ MYSTERY.
IN OTHER WORDS – HOW A MAN & WOMAN CAN BECOME ONE, IS A PICTURE OF HOW JESUS IS ONE WITH US, HIS CHURCH. WHAT A MYSTERY. GOD IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANS, INFINITY WITH FINITY, ETERNITY WITH TEMPORAL, KNOWLEDGE WITH IGNORANCE. IT IS A MYSTERY, AND IT LOOKS LIKE MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
B. GOD HAS CHOSEN MARRIAGE TO REVEAL JESUS’ LOVE.
A HUSBAND IS TO LOVE HIS WIFE TO SHOW THE WORLD HOW CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH. MOST OF THE WORLD WILL NEVER READ THE BIBLE. GOD HAS CHOSEN TO SHOW THE WORLD HIS LOVE FOR HIS CHURCH THROUGH THE RELATIONSHIP OF A HUSBAND’S UNENDING, UNDYING, SELF-SACRIFICING LOVE FOR HIS WIFE. THIS BEGS THE QUESTION, HOW MUCH DO YOU SHOW THE WORLD THAT JESUS LOVES THEM? IF THE WORLD NEVER HEARD THE WORDS “JESUS LOVES YOU” WOULD THEY KNOW IT BECAUSE OF THE PICTURE YOU ARE PAINTING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOUR WIFE?
C. GOD HAS CHOSEN MARRIAGE TO REVEAL JESUS’ SUBMISSION
JUST AS A WIFE IS TO BE SUBJECT TO HER HUSBAND, SO WAS JESUS SUBJECT TO HIS FATHER. JESUS PAINTS A PICTURE OF SUBMISSION THAT WE CAN FOLLOW. JUST AS HE SUBMITTED TO HIS FATHER, EVEN THOUGH JESUS IS EQUAL, HE IS GOD, HE IS CREATOR, SUSTAINER, REDEEMER, HE STILL HUMBLED HIMSELF IN SUBMISSION AND PRAYED “NOT MY WILL, BUT THINE.”
D. GOD HAS CHOSEN MARRIAGE TO REVEAL JESUS’ LEADERSHIP
JESUS IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH, JUST AS A HUSBAND IS TO BE HEAD OF THE HOME, THE FAMILY. THIS IS NOT A POSITION OF POWER, BUT OF RESPONSIBILITY. DID JESUS EVER DEMAND HIS OWN WAY, FORCE HIS THOUGHTS ON OTHERS, MISTREAT OR MISUSE ANYONE THAT HE CAME IN CONTACT WITH? NO! EVEN THOUGH HE HELD THE HIGHEST POSITION, HE NEVER USED IT TO HURT OR HARM ANYONE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE OUR WIVES THE WAY CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND TO MISTREAT THEM. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!
SOME OF US ARE WILLING TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE OUR MARRIED LIVES A LITTLE BETTER.
HUSBANDS WILL BE WILLING TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THE WIFE HAPPY.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT MAKING SOMEONE HAPPY – THIS IS ABOUT FOLLOWING GOD’S PLAN AND BECOMING HIS PICTURE (MASTERPIECE) FOR THE WORLD TO SEE HIM IN.
IT IS TIME FOR US TO UNDERSTAND COVENANT MARRIAGE.
IT IS TIME FOR US TO LIVE OUR LIVES AS HIS PICTURE.
A MARRIAGE THAT IS FILLED WITH 2 SELFISH PEOPLE, SEEKING THEIR OWN WILL, LIVING IN THE PAST IS NOT THE WAY TO BRING GLORY TO GOD.
IT IS TIME FOR GOD’S CHILDREN TO LIVE MARRIED LIVES THAT PAINT A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF JESUS.
IT IS TIME FOR YOU WHO ARE SINGLE – TO DEDICATE YOURSELF, WHEN YOU DO GET MARRIED, THAT IT WILL BE IN GOD’S PLAN AND PAINT GOD’S PICTURE.
WE HAVE BEFORE AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE HIS WITNESSES EVERYDAY. LET THE WORLD LIVE BY ITS STANDARDS, BUT LET US LIVE BY CHRIST’S STANDARDS.
I CAN HONESTLY MAKE YOU THIS PROMISE; IF CHRISTIANS WILL, LEAVE, JOIN TOGETHER AND BECOME ONE FLESH, THEY WILL NEVER REGRET IT. CHRIST WILL DO A WORK IN YOUR MARRIAGE, THAT YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE. YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO WHAT IT USED TO BE.
WE HAVE THE MISCONCEPTION THAT SAYS IF WE GIVE UP SOMETHING WE WILL LOSE IT FOREVER. BUT IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY WITH JESUS. IF WE WILL GIVE UP AND SACRIFICE IN OUR MARRIAGES, WE WILL GAIN MORE THAN WE HAVE EVER GIVEN UP. THAT MUST NOT BE OUR MOTIVATION, GIVING UP IN ORDER TO RECEIVE, BUT IT CAN BE OUR GUARANTEE.
JUST READING THIS OR HEARING THIS WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE. IT IS UP TO YOU TO DO THE CHANGING. JESUS GAVE US THE BLUEPRINT FOR MARRIAGE, WILL WE BUILD ON IT OR WILL WE FOLLOW THE WORLD’S IDEA THAT CONTINUES TO FAIL EVERYDAY?
***NEXT IN OUR SERIES WAS THE SERMON DIRECTLY FOR THE HUSBANDS. I REALIZE THAT THE TEXT IN EPHESIANS SPEAKS FIRST TO THE WIVES, BUT I THOUGHT IT BEST TO ADDRESS THE MEN FIRST. MAYBE I AM SMART OR MAYBE I AM A COWARD, EITHER WAY I THOUGHT IT BEST TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THE MEN FIRST.
