A year or so ago, my wife and I went to her best friend's 30th birthday party. They have been friends since my wife was in sixth grade (her friend was in 5th then).
Anyway, my wife’s friend had just completed her divorce from her husband of almost 11 years. We had been requesting prayer for them for them at church for a long time prior to this night, but in the end their divorce finalized about four months before the party. My wife’s friend waited until the divorce was final before she began looking for a new guy, but since then she had not delayed in finding herself a few guys. At the time of the party, she was seeing three guys.
My wife’s friend is a nurse at a local hospital, as are most of her friends. I am sure you know the reputations nurses have, they are wild. Anyway, my wife’s friend did not tell us that she was having a big party, we thought it would just be herself, ourselves, and one of their old roommates who was 6 months pregnant at the time with her and her husbands first child after 6 years of trying. The pregnancy was a real praise as she had miscarriaged four or five times prior to this time. Anyway it was just suppose to be the four of us and a close co-worker of my wife’s friend who was also a divorced female. Soon after we arrive the other co-workers and their dates / spouses arrived. Culture shock, that is all I can say, culture shock.
Eventually I would say there were about 20 people there. All of these people were 25 or older, one was about 45 I think, and they all acted like they were 16. It was how many can I drink, how stupid can I be, etc. My wife, the pregnant friend, and I stuck out like sore thumbs. We were the only ones not drinking, and the only ones with stable relationships it seems. Everyone else there was mad at their x, or their current, or their date, or some potential date. They were all just children in adult bodies.
I of course did what I do most often, I set back, watched, and observed while thinking about what I was seeing. It did not take long to see what was really going on. They wanted peace and happiness, but they do not know where to find it. Their solution too not them not finding it was to look to alcohol and physical relationships to feel the God sized hole in their lives.
My wife and I left way before the party ended, and I think before they got too wild, but it was still eye opening. On the way home we were talking and realized that we both had concluded the same thing, we just do not fit in with people like that. Sure we can talk to them, sure we can be civil, but at the base of it we have virtually nothing in common with them. They live for different goals and reason then we do.
My wife and I have always been different, and so this was really not a big deal to us, but I do think it showed us just how out of touch we are with a lot of our peers . That is not something we are sad about either. We do not / did not want to live the way they were, but it shows me just how out of sync Christianity and a life in Christ is with the world.
My wife’s friend called us the next day, a Sunday, to thank us for coming, and sort of apologize for her other friends. My wife handled it well, and simply said we had a great time seeing her (the friend), and looked forward to seeing her again soon. My wife’s friend commented on how immature her co-workers / friends were and my wife simply agreed and said that they all really need to find some real hope and joy in their lives. Through all of this my wife’s friend may actually have seen a good witness, as she seemed to understand that we are just different and there is a reason for that.
To me though the thing that kept coming to mind was 1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I thought and acted like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things, and Hebrews 5:11-14 - you are all still infants because you crave milk, and infants drink milk, by now you should be on solid food, because solid food is for adults. Obviously, the Bible scholars out there, both of the above are Team Swap paraphrase's, but I think you know what I mean. These people were adults with "real" jobs, and they still acted and thought like children in their personal lives. They should be mature adults by know, but they have retarded their growth via their lifestyle and personal choices.
<strong>My point in all of this is not to say my wife and I are better, we are not. We are just saved. That fact has given us different priorities and calls on our lives.</strong> We know what really joy and happiness is. It is not found in a bottle (or from a drug), or via human relationships, it is found in Christ and a relationship with Him. He is the father of hope, joy, happiness, life and eternity. There is no other above Him, and no life for those outside of Him. That last part is the saddest part. These people really thought they were living, yet all they are doing is dying a slow death that ends in a eternity of suffering.
I still pray for the people I meet that Saturday, not because I know them, not because I will see them again, not where I may be thanked, but because I really want them to know what a full life can be. They do not know now. They are working so hard at finding it and all they find is more sadness. Honestly, if they ever did find God and they kept us the same work effort for Him that they currently have for themselves, then they would set the world on fire for God with their efforts. Sad that humans will work so hard at things that lead to destruction, and so little on things that lead to eternity.
I am sure that this note really did not encourage you, and I apologize, but honestly it is scary just how many 30 some things are teen some things really. My wife and I have seen glimpses of this at both our high school reunions, and corporate Christmas parties over the last few years, but this party was a real wake up call.
Stay strong, be courageous, and serve God in all things.
