Top 11 Signs You're About to Be Fired

11) Boss says Have a nice vaction even though you aren't taking one
10) You're a headchopper working for Sunbeam
9) Coworkers often ask, 'What are you still doing here?'
8) You replaced the oil in the fry-o-later with Coppertone
7) You got dumped, lost your apartment, and crashed your car
6) Guilt forced you to tell your boss you're sleeping with his wife
5) Tomato Basil Ice Cream was your last 'good' idea
4) Your big presentation was cancelled and you're on coffee duty instead
3) You're an intern sleeping with the president
2) One Word: Reorg
1) You came to work yesterday with a gun

Arby, The Thinking Man wrote on:

Here's my TEN BEST tried and proven ways to spot a Poser,or a Hoser !!!

10. Wears his golf shoes for biking. Likes the way those spikes contact with the plastic pedals.
9. Thinking of moving to Kansas for the great cycling there.
8. Has handlebar mounted in custom made aluminum 12 inch riser block.
7. Been inquiring about bikes with automatic shifting he saw on info-mercial.
6. Stops frequently at Burger Kings for shakes and fries to replenish the energy lost in
maintaining that 10 mph pace.
5. Says he was the fastest Cat One in three states before the back problems.
4. Has a sheepskin cover on that special order very large saddle, but only because of the
back problems.
3. Always scratching his butt...no-one told him yet about the wide range of biological life
forms in the warm, moist environment of that sheepskin cover.
2. Complains of sore butt..with the interest in cycling, now that is two sporting activities
that cause sore butt in the morning.
1. Sprays over his Schwinn frame and applies CANNONDALE lettering and decals.