Real World Living
This is directed at Christians. Anyone is welcome to read it, but those that do not consider themselves Christians may find this post to be confusing and worthless.
I did not grow up in some ivy league / protected environment. I went to public schools, my parents live in a middle class neighborhood, and my friends were mostly from the same area. I knew wealthy kids, I knew poor kids, I knew good kids, I knew bad kids, I knew rough kids, and I knew kids with huge chips on their shoulders. Though I knew all kinds of kids I avoided trouble by staying away from kids that were trouble makers. regardless of where they lived or what their parents did or did not do. I never have used illegal drugs, though I probably could have found them if I had gone looking. I guess in hindsight the same could be said for alcohol use / abuse and teenage sex. I never got involved in them because I did not let people involved in those things become my close friends. Those aiming for trouble did and have always remained in my acquittance circle.
Anyway, a few months after I got my first "real job" - busing tables at age 15 -, I heard something that completely floored me and opened my mind up to just how different my world and life was then from the life of my peers. A bit of history, I worked at buffet restaurant that was close to government housing. A large part of the employees at the restaurant came from that housing development. Most of those that were from the housing projects were pleasant enough, and I had no real issues with them They worked hard, I worked hard. The only difference was that they lived in a rougher community then I.
The fellow employee I am going to tell you about today was one of the workers that came from the housing project. We were always pleasant and nice too each other, even though we had little in common in regards to family, goals or lifestyle. He was a cook, about 19 years old I guess, and he gotten one of his buddies, about the same age, hired on. They rode together, which was the basis for the issue that arose. One day they had been late because the battery in the cooks car had died.
Both of these guys were on break the same time I was. While on break they were talking about what they were going to do about the battery. I was a few seats away eating and could hear their conversation. Several others were in the room too. In the midst of their conversation the bomb shell was dropped - "So are you going to get a battery or buy one?"
Though I remained silent, my mind immediately ask - “How do you get a battery, without buying one?” I was a bit slow, but the answer still hit my mind quickly - OH, YOU STEAL ONE!! My mind immediately ask the next question. “ WHAT??? Did he just ask his buddy if he was going to steal a battery or buy one?”. The audible answer came quickly from the friend and it was YES he did ask if the other cook was going to steal a battery.
They soon decide that they are going to buy one, but if it is more then $30 dollars (remember this is 1986 or so), then they are going to get one from a neighbors car.
They had this conversation with probably 5 or so other people in the small break, all within hearing range. Their tone was just simple, basic and normal. Nothing special, nothing odd, just like me asking my wife how her day went - routine and normal.
Honestly, I have no idea how the situation resolved itself. What I do know is that the question really me showed how much I was out of touch and out of phase with some of my co-workers that I considered to be basically like me. Though I knew people stole and that youth crime is / was common, I just had never seen it as being so routine. These guys were risking jail time, being fired, and who knows what else, for a car battery. Thoughts with those kinds of risks attached never seemed to “cross me mind” Sure we all take stupid risks in some areas, bit it never occurred to me that "normal" guys would take those risks so easily.
I shared this story today to point out that I think some times Christians can think we are in touch with the world. By that I mean not "IN IT", but some Christians think they are at least "in touch" with what the world is like. Truthfully that is probably not as true for the devoted Christian as they think.
At times Christians need to be jolted back to the reality that the majority of the world is not just sort of different then the life that Christians aspire too (and always fall short of). The truth is that the world is REAL different, and Christians do not notice it most of the time. Christians just roll through life oblivious of things, situations, and people around them just like I did when I was 15.
Understand, I am NOT talking about Christians overlooking / missing people who are open rebelling, those who are openly sinning, or those that proudly display and boost about their sinful lives and activities. People like these are the ones that Christians can and do easily identify. Christians also immediately know that they have little in common with such people. Sure conversations between a Christian and a rebellious / open sinner can and may be pleasant, but during such conversations there will be little in the world of either that its shared.
So, I am NOT talking about the lost person that is easy to id. No, the people that I am talking about today are the ones where there is little outward difference between the lost person and the Christian. Both parties love their kids, they both want better lives. They both need a break, both need to slow down their lives a bit. Both parties are looking to have a bit of happiness in their life. Both want the same or similar things from their jobs / employer / schools, for their futures, for their community, for their nation, etc. In the end there is a large part of society that is lost, even if they appear fairly similar too the average Christian without examination.
These vast number of similarities are outward things. That fact may or may not be a knock on the modern church, you can decide that for yourself. Regardless of your view of the role and responsibility of modern church, Christians can easily talk with such lost people. Christians get along with them without problem. Christians can and do work side by side with them without issue. Such lost souls are not the model for the wild and rebellious person that is so often discussed within the walls of church buildings. What they are though are people who are living without hope, without a set moral code / guide, without eternal direction, and without a reason to change any of those that they can see.
The reality is that Christians are / should be living a life very different life then the lost though. Some of those differences are external (speech, actions, activities, etc), and some are internal (priorities, purpose, plan, etc). Regardless of the nature and scope of the differences, the vast majority of the saved and the vast number of lost have the ability to get along with each other. Even though the two groups have little in common at their core, they get along well due to the outward similarities and usually subtle differences within the lives of each group.
Weather that should or should not be true is another topic for another day. Bottom line, Christians still talk to most lost people like there are large parts of their lives which are in common. Most Christians talk about this view or that topic and never realize that the other party has little to no idea what the Christian is basing their views on or what they are even talking about at times.
Many times Christians act like / assume that they have the same core set of values as the other person they are talking too. In the mind of the Christian, the only difference is that is that they (the Christian) are practicing their views and the other party is just slightly lapsed in their practice of them.
My point, which probably is not obvious, is that Christians really need to stop assuming that they have a commonality with people simply because the other person does not have the outward appearance of open rebellion. When Christians just look for the "worst of the worst" to witness too and be "Christians" around they miss the vast majority of the world that is just as lost. Most lost individuals see little to no reason to change because all their "Christian" acquaintances get along fine with them as they are and never point out there is need or reason to change.
For Christians, it is the sin of neglect and oversight I guess. Most of the time, Christians assume that they know the other person pretty well. The lost person is not as bad as the Christian expects a “sinner” to be, so they never discuss faith or issues of faith with the lost person. Sometimes Christians need a question in their lives like - "are you going to get one or buy one?" to shake up their view of a lost and dying world. Many times Christians think because they know "something about the world", that they are completely in tune and able to minister to the world. In reality most Christians are ineffective because they do not have a real understanding of where the lost really live and how they, the Christian, can reach out and to them. Christians want to white wash those around them, and to by pass discussions regarding faith with them, with the hope that the lost will change themselves.
To me one of the saddest things is that so many Christians use "church language" around the lost and never wonder if they, the lost, understand the terms sin, lost, reborn, saved, blood sacrifice, Jesus, God, etc. I am not talking about 50 cent theology words here, I mean the basics. Most of the time a lost person is not going to ask what those terms mean either as they do not want to be seen as less intelligent, or more messed up, then the Christian. The lost person does not want to hear a 25 minute lesson on the trinity and it’s relationship to the post modern church either when they do ask what a term means.
Today try to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be.
Have a great day, stay strong, be courageous, and serve God in all things / places.
I am friends with this girl I used to date. We used to be alot alike. That was back in the dats when my hair was no shorter than 12 inches long and black, my wardrobe was three shades(black,grey,and red),I smoked, stole, hurt people, just lived in the sub-world that only can be seen by those people that are of the world. We were serious about our relationship. It died of because of the same reasons that I listed above. A relationship for a drug addict like I was is normally short term.
Any way when I got out of the place that I was reborn and returned to Knoxville I sought her out the next day. We hung out together for about a week before I noticed that we had little in common. I tried to push through it abd still am trying. The other day that she told me that she everyone else she knows above me because we they belong to a breed that I don’t. I was hurt at first because even though I had tried to make the friendship work it was a failure. I do not have one thing in common with her and therefore we never talk about anything.
My lifestyle changed. Her lifestyle stayed the same. I am no better than her. It was one of those things that reminded me that who I used to be is gone and if I want to relate to people I meet or know I have to find a common ground to open up a relationship with. I cannot base it off what I think that I know. People wil never respond to some one how is never on the same level as they are. That is one of the reasons I struggle with the relationships I have with my family and at church. My family lives like the lost. Most of my old friends are lost. I struggle to find that common ground between myself and the lost, my family, and the church. These people are not going to conform to my lifestyle. Therefore I know that if I want to build on these relationships I have to be like Paul. When he was with the gentiles he acted has one of them. When he was with the jews he became one of them.
He did fall into sin or follow the ways of the world. He found a common ground and used it to build up the relationships and the understanding to be used by God. So I strongly agree. For me or anyone else to have positive growing relationships with any one they have to be willing to understand, accept, listen, talk, and not fall into the sins that people of the world can justifiy with a million excuses. Common ground can be found. But you have to look for it and use it for what it is meant to be used for.
Sorry about take up so much here brother. It is just awesome that you posted this and it was situation that I am NOW struggling with. Looking forward to next weekend.
Comment by
Travis — 3/8/2007 @ 1:57 pm
man don’t pay no mind to my typing should have read before I clicked
Words misspelled, words left out, and Paul didn’t fall into the sins of the world. Sorry about that too.
Comment by
Travis — 3/8/2007 @ 2:01 pm
First of all you are not taking up room here, you add ALOT to this place. Second spelling is not my strong point either. I always proof read like ten times before I post and I STILL have issues with spelling. Not a bother, not a problem.
Stay strong, be courageous, and serve God in all things.
Comment by
Frank — 3/9/2007 @ 9:27 am